There isn’t a day that passes by when we aren’t proud of our mother nation, the’ Islamic Republic of Pakistan’. Every hour, every minute, every second realizes us how lucky we are to be born in such a blessed nation, whose natives are called ‘Pakis’ in the Europe (Britain of course!) and terrorists in ‘Amreeka’! But we don’t take such racial rants to the heart, because we got loads of other things to deal with. Yearly floods in Baluchistan and Sind, sky-rocketing prices of goods, lack of political parties, ‘healthy’ railway network, sea of ‘honest’ politicians, hourly power failures, the ‘drone games’ of KhyberPakhtoonKhawa, efficient educational sector, constant ascension of value of Rupee in international market, extremist aggression towards novel ideas…… and the list goes on describing the very features that are considered while locating Pakistan on the world map. But that’s not all of it, there are some special habits (read: lunacies!) you got to have to be declared fully as a citizen of ‘Islamic Republic of Pakistani’.
1. You had a really tough day at the job. Luck began with waking up late, running for your things here and there, got an over-speeding ticket on your way to work, ran into boss while sneaking your way in your office, left the presentation at home while leaving in a hurry, your arch-rival gets promotion the very same day, you broke up with your GF because you had promised her lunch on her birthday, spilled coffee all over your clothes, forgot to pick stuff from your aunt’s house, had a flat tire on your way back home……. The day just can’t get any better. But wait, while you were busy warming your sheet at 3:00 am, the silence of the snores break and your best buddy is on the highway, some 5 kilometers from your home and his car broke down with you in all-the-choices-left-to-him-on-earth.
2. You’re an undergrad student and term paper is due tomorrow. It’s been assigned since three weeks but you woke up last day, just to find that your windows are corrupted. A friend agrees to tolerate you at his place until you have the capability to keep his stomach busy! You’re just half way through your work when you realized that you are low on ‘firewood’. The same instant your friend’s mother got a call and had to be somewhere really urgent. Though they had 3 drivers at their place, his mother insists that he drive. Time’s running low and you just think of the nearest net café. The computers there failed to impress you but still as long as you’re going smooth, they are ‘The Biggest Blessing’ to be showered upon you by Allah Almighty. Last minute is racing 360 degrees and you’ve just done it, proof read it and checked it at least twice for any errors. Just the very instant you are about to click the submit button, the light went out.
3. A protest began in the early hours of the day with people raising slogans, carrying banners and placards against the anti-democratic activities of the Government, quite a calm view. After they had been in the sun all day, their leader arrives in a bullet proof Mercedes Luxury Coupe. People had been silent till then but suddenly they had been charged. With their batteries that had been set in the sun for the last couple of hours waiting for him, they are mad now. Mad at the establishment, mad at the Government, mad at everything because everybody else in responsible for where they are at the moment. Leader spoke for 5 minutes only, enough to make that mob burn down the whole city, they shape the law in any form they like and will bring a change in the country. Their movement just began and it’s going to be a matter of time their names will be in the books of history. But their memorable journey and golden era comes to a halt at the instant the police and law enforcement squad arrive at the scene. It takes tear gas and charge-at-will cane slashes to rip those pages off of the books.
4. No soul on this soil will find more peace than by switching on his/her TV and tuning on PTV. Of course, there are only two channels that guarantee peace and calm throughout the globe; Animal Planet and PTV. With the motto of saying all the truth and delivering all the truth, PTV has embarked on a mission to provide its viewers with all that is happening around the country and the globe in its most ‘unadulterated’ and actual form. Whether it is a matter of dissolution of assemblies, murder of an important leadership in the country or unrest beyond the borders, PTV makes sure that it gets it ever increasing number of viewers carefully administered reality that is focused upon the very peace and inner harmony of the people.
5. How can one not relate in a way or the other to the day Pakistan gained independence, 14th of August. It’s a day when the Patriotism of every Pakistani is put to test. The only way to get through is to the ‘world’ know how much you love your country. To be the best, you must be amongst a group of at least 50 bikers, got a green Pakistani cricket kit shirt on, green paint all over your face; painting your ride green is an added bonus. Race your way across the traffic, blow loud horns all night long, be amongst the truck-load of people who unload themselves at every traffic signal and dance their hearts out, irrespective of the fact that the traffic jam so caused will take the whole night to disperse.
6. And it would be shameful to call yourself a Pakistani is you hadn’t abandoned your every form of work just to watch Pakistan-India cricket match. A true Pakistani would arrange a huge projector screen and of course let there be a ticket on it too! One should be cheering in all forms for his country, a gasp of joy on every ball, deafening shouts and cries on every boundary and bhangra on a sixer. And do wait for the moment whenever a baller in green kicks any of those sorry Indian asses on the strike. Also when leaving to enjoy the ‘epic battle’ with your friends in the neighborhood, don’t forget to hand over your mother a Jaye-namaz and a Tasbeeh!
very interesting.
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